1) Intro give a run down of yourself who you are? what you enjoy doing? and what does a usual day consit of for you?
I am the once dead, suddenly revitalized and exhumed from a self-carved tomb, feeling all at once disarmed, over stimulated, and practically stranded in the living world, but grateful nonetheless. I slowly adjust this clean air. Josh man, im your long time big friendly buddy. after 24 years of many diatribes, mutilations (self and others), and much duress i believe to be a semi-contented person with massive energy, much passion, and many strange emotional fixations. I eat mostly pie and sweets in the cold seasons, Thai Express in all others. i still fear alien abduction in a stern and very real sense, and am constantly reveling in some new artistic fray. For the longest time that was music and now it has morphed into the written word and some visual art meanderings, mostly as an onlooker but nonetheless, engaged. A new student, a new lover, a new learner, and very much overwhelmed and amazed by life. I like poor eating, cooking easy things, alton brown and most of food network tv (the only reason to turn it on besides football), hardcore punk and metal and wiener stuff too, reading, bad eating, finally having a girlfriend, moving in with that girlfriend, writing Paralyzer songs on the spot, reminiscing about the Severe House summers, Dane, Brandon, You, others, pick scrapes, great dead men, talking, writing things like this, being longwinded, being intolerable, laughing at the intolerable, being crushed by the intolerable. my days are the tiny scale with a freight train on one end, driven completely into the ground by too much ambition, immaturity, and thoughts that are so sick of one another they forcefully exit my mouth via reckless spewing, such as this. My days are choked by school, working with funny kids, bands, trying to save daylight to read (still cant do it at night), and maybe more work soon. Now, waiting to spring (robdini?) to ride the new motorcycle and feel its emollient hum. Thanks for asking.
2) School. How is school going? what are you going for? What are your short term goals and long term goals for school? What would you like to do after school is over?
School is a funny thing. For years it felt like the candy store that I was forbidden from, now it’s as if I got in and the mouthful is starting to sink into the cavities. since I was 20-21 I knew I wanted to be a student and finally at 24 I enrolled. I enter daily still with much brio and focus, but it is slowing chipping away at me, and feeling very work-like in a way. The classes so far are not mega-provocative. I am dedicated to get through and be laden with scholarships and people backing me to get some free money and all that. Mostly it has made me broke, seeing I can only really work part time and all that. That is a huge adjustment. I think about sometimes and I do feel very lucky to have a seat in the classrooms everyday, even if I don’t give a fuck that the output variable depends on the input variable and P=rW and how to write a research paper, and cite references and all that, I realize its all a gift and am for once deserving, and most of all, ready for to receive it. I hope to teach at some capacity, somewhere locally, some bi-lingual elementary school. I do consider the college level, or high school too. For now lets say that im undecided but very much decided in general. I want to work with children, I want to teach, I want that luxurious schedule and the low-for-a-professional pay, I want the funny refrigerator decorations, I want the parent-teacher conferences, I want to eat school food everyday, I want to watch kids figure it out, I want to be there when the lightbulbs flicker, flicker, and finally burn ebulliently (does this actually happen?). It all sounds close to perfect to me. In the mean time, ill play the take-out-lots-of-loans-and-hope-to-not-get-fucked roulette. Oh yeah, I am slowly learning American Sigh Language, stumbling into sharp corners and forgetting everything all the time. It is my first language I’ve learned since my ongoing failing bout with English, and it is a beautiful thing to feel part of, even in such a distanced way.
3) Books. What have you been reading lately? Favorite books/authors of all time?
What can I say about books…life preservers for the lonely ocean of actual life. Something like that. I just finished a book called “memoirs of a survivor” by Doris Lessing, finally read Gatsby, “a moveable feast” by hemingway (his recollection of his days in Paris being poor, married, knocking elbows with other Americans who hightailed it out of the United States of the Pustulated). Always reading new Bukowski poetry and knee to knee with all the others who believe that a better poem has never been written, all the time, each new volume…I could say that my favorite author is Louis Ferdinand Celine and Henry Miller, both i guess…for they have different purposes and couldn’t more polar opposites in theory, not delivery. Umm, I buy slim poetry volumes hoping to diversify my collection, but I haven’t found someone to kick lifes ass as hard as ol’ Chuck, but im looking, and I do belieive in the vastness of literature, especially literature im IGNORANT of, so ask me in a few years this question, and hopefully Lou and Chuck, and Valentine have so company up there. Celine. He is my favorite. Journey to the End of the Night is my favorite and most recommended novel; the entire flux of the Rosy Crucifixion by Miller would be next in line. It depends of the air on the room, the pain in my heart, the scum in the cracks, which mind is more agreeable and attractive at the time. The biggest issue is finding time to read now that school is demanding my erudite whims, and giving me page numbers and essays to read, all of it is interesting, but its never the same, ever. I hope someday to begin the work of uncovering before the 1900’s. I’m crossing my fingers for new favorites, maybe I should drop it all and start watching reality tv?
4) Election 08. What are your thoughts on what lead up to the election? The election day and the results. And president elect barack obama?
Hmmm, well I can say this year was my quickening of citizenship. My declaration of being someone that can admit that I am indeed affected by what those psychos in DC come up with, whom they destroy, who they piss off and piss on, what they value, what orifice will be violated next of the American public…I never concerned myself with it so much before, and im sure I am not alone in that claim. I definitely felt a little more interested and vested in this election than before, I watched the Hunter S. Thompson documentary called Gonzo (2008)…and it got me all hyped up, and I loved to see the parallels from then in the 60’s to now, with you young people and other disreputable being angry and FINALLY articulating it. I found a hero in Thompson, and it makes me hopeful about the next four years. Surely it couldn’t be worse, especially with a literate president, who will have sweeter and more palatable lies and suggestions, but I am with the rest of you who felt a rush of joy when he was elected, just out of spite of what Mccain represented, just to smote the Republicans, and the cunt who embarrassed every free person in America this year, Mrs. Palin. I could retch thinking about some of the things that we don’t spit out. Some of the things that are swallowed boggle me. I know there is assumed Western ignorance about everything from foreign policy to portion control, but I cant fucking believe that some of these monsters aren’t put down, and the only believable saints this world has ever seen, are shot in the head. I am scared for Obama and this collective worlds breaking heart when someone takes that chance. Stupider shit has been done; think of the people around the world, who don’t know what the slightest freedom is, about those whose ribs press against their skin. I know its fruitless to consider sometimes, but when I think about it all, I stop caring about America, and its gas price mania, and my neighbors, and I secretly hope that gas goes up to 90$ a gallon and watch all these pigs fucking kill eachother, or critically think for the first time, either way, we the ACTUAL people, benefit. I think Obama will be the relief the public needs, but I do believe the utter blight of the oval office for the last however long, is too big a job for one person, or one term. He realizes that too, but I think the short patience of Americans will besiege the president elect, and in turn besiege themselves. I saw a sticker today that said “YES WE DID” on it, and I nodded and felt very excited. That can sum up how I feel. I was excited and happy about politics, outside of the thin refrain of wanting it all to burn and punks to run the world. I respected the whole process. That’s huge in itself.
5) What is your favorite Terror song / favorite Terror album?
(*note your pick for favorite Terror song does not have to be on your pick of favorite Terror album)
Terror. The staple. The three square meals. The band all the disillusioned and impatient can rely on. My favorite Terror song right this second is Test My Convictions, every part of that song is great and the breakdown makes me cringe with violence when I think about it…my favorite album is surely Always the Hard Way, it is very very close to One With The Underdogs. OWTU has more of an affect on me, because it was when they went from being a Carry On missed with Madball thing, to more of a metallic aggressive thing, and I like that way more almost always. But ATHW is where they perfected the brew.
6) Hardcore. What are your thoughts on the current state of hardcore? What bands are you stoked on right now? What do you think is wrong with hardcore?
Current state of hardcore…I feel slightly disconnected from the current state for a few reasons. I am not in a very active band anymore, so I don’t see lots of new bands or continually meet people like I used to. Also living in Cincinnati we don’t see an abundance of great shows with great new bands playing, especially in a reasonable venue or for a reasonable price. All the basements have been overtaken and abandoned, Skullab and Murmer are both shut down (although im sure the great people heading those places will keep steadfast with their devotion to art and music), and the Void is gone, ect ect. You know the Easy Rider basement is a fucking flat piece of grass now. Bummer. There are shows that happen but many of them but the ones with mainstream hardcore bands are expensive, however well put together and well executed, many of the bands that play them are uninteresting to me personally, and the punk dudes doing shows in Cincinnati do very loosely organized free “donation” or bar shows, which always reek of some sort of haphazardness, and many times redundant bands. So in this region I do not have current hardcore peppering the weekend nights and local venues/bars/basements. I do not sit on the internet very often so I do not hear all the fresh bands MP3’s every day, which I guess leaves me in the minority next to hardcore’s growing digital stature. It seems like a very technology based and internet reliant culture, and that is a turnoff to me and seems to me ignominious and disreagarding a pertinent theme of the constitution of punk (assuming that Ian and Henry wrote one at some point). I am broke and more responsible for myself and my money now so I spend less on records and new risks in buying unknown things, and stick to spinning classics instead more times than not. I have a central 15-25 bands I follow closely and very intentionally, but I am missing out on a lot I am sure. Recently I saw Have Heart and Blacklisted and a bunch of others on that tour that just passed though here, and I felt excited to see a show like that in Cincinnati (I know they happen sometimes, but unbeknownst to me) and to get away from the drunkenness and laziness of some of the punk shows I spend time at and more often play in my bands…I liked the stringent adherence to reasonable start and end times, and no underage drinking and ect, it was reaffirming and excited, however I do feel alienated some from that crowd because of my age and my belief set concerning certain things. It is certainly divided here in this city and I feel a strange affinity for both sides. I do not forget or smote my roots but many times I scoff at some of the things I overhear and see at mainstream hardcore shows, but then I think to myself that many of the people are 16-18 and I relax. It’s the same on both ends, and they are both sequacious in their trendy and banal patterns. Overall, hardcore and punk are most misunderstood, yet, formidable form of social network and forum for inquisitive minds and youthful energy. Whether it crosses the line that makes it “art” anymore is questionable, but it certainly is still as diverse, stimulating, and staunch as it always has been since the 80’s. It is where I learned how to listen to other people, make mistakes, play instruments, travel, it connected me with the world at large, it makes me laugh in bitter derision, some bands make me cry still, it is the ultimate place for the disinherited youth, it is the definitive sound of this generation, hands down. Hardcore is a source of power for the dispossessed and simply for that, it is worth maintaining, supporting, and believing in, despite my biases, the past, my disappointments, all-the-good-bands-being-done-with mentality that I try to rid myself of constantly, hardcore deserves the major attention its getting. I do believe in the hokey Scott Vogel shit about one with the underdogs, and always against the odds, and all that…I believe in the life changing power of a lyric jacket (that’s why you BUY records fuckers!) despite the sewing and tearing of the ebbing tide of my interest and my participation, I love hardcore wholly. I always will. Quickly, im stoked on the new Earth Crisis record, new Shai Hulud record, ummm Modern Life is War perpetually, new God Forbid (haha whatever), new Propaghandi, Madball, oh yeah Verse!!! Verse man, Furnace, Coliseum, Young Widows. Whats wrong with hardcore…hmmm…off center screen-printing, Integrity still putting things out (they are my old favorite band but cmon man!!), no more MLIW, finally getting bored of Hatebreed after 11 years…I don’t know, nothing is wrong with it…bands with makeup, huge guarantees, booking agents running things, no DIY venues in Cincinnati, too much drinking and not enough talking and thinking, lots of amps and no balls, phones with keypads, shows being attended by all suburbanites, documentaries with old men talking shit about it as if its in some ghastly condition and all of us paying to go see it (American Harecore), Rollins not being in a band right now… A lot is wrong but that’s beside the point, its aberrant, it’s like spitting on your Vans.
(AT THIS POINT IN THE INTERVIEW, SUBJECT HAS STARK REALIZATION OF THE ABSOLUTE INANITY OF THESE RESPONSES AND THE PRENTIOUS LENGTHS OF HIS RESPONSES AND DECIDES TO BECOME MORE CONCISE, LESS VUNERABLE, AND MORE APPROPRIATE TO HIS GOOD BUDDY JOSH AND HIS DIGI-BUDDIES TOO…)
7) What do you think was a bigger mistake? Getting "Fuck You I'm Straight Edge" tattooed on your forearm or getting it covered up?
JESUS. Umm im glad I got now that I covered it up. I would of never had the sweet arm I have now if it weren’t for that colossal mistake. However it was a source of attention for a long time and had my gave me quite a deplorable reputation, (I realize you were ALL laughing AT me) and im very glad that’s over now. How oxymoronic, or just moronic. Yeah, moronic. I am still nailed to the X, so I can give up all the cheap gags, I can laugh and empathize for other people senselessly caked in them. No, I will never cover the Slayer tattoo. Im condemned to long sleeves for good.
8) The Bengals what are your thoughts on this organization? Do you think the Bengals can have a winning season? Or is Cincinnati always destine to lose.
Your hilarious Josh. I don’t give a shit about the Bengal’s. I like when my friends come over and it gives us something simple and tangible to talk over. Football is great but c’mon. the biggest disappointment of the season is that Chad didn’t really change his name (lil bitch), and superlative Chris Henry didn’t play all the games.
9) Slayer. thoughts on the band? high points and low points. What do you think of the new song online?
Greatest band of all time. Need a spot on the periodic table dedicated to them. Would eat Metallica’s whiney heads off and then eat their wives pussy’s, drunk as shit. high points: every recorded, live, and corporeal moment, even their straight laced pseudo Christian home lives is great and wonderful to me…we’ll forget about Diablous except for “Bitter Peace” and Christ Illusion wasn’t so bad. Oh yeah…BOSTAPH>LOMBARDO forever…don’t give a fuck what the most invested Slayer fan thinks, I’d like to think of myself as somewhat of an authority on them, considering my life long devotion to their domineering career. Hahaha. What is my problem? Anyway…low points: ummmm………
(SUBJECT CONTINUES TO LIONIZE SLAYER TO ANNOYED, PERTURBED, AND SLOWLY FADING GIRLFRIEND IN ADJACENT ROOM, TO THE POINT OF FOAMING STUPOR, GETS DISTRACTED BY BRIGHT LIGHTS AND SIMPLE MANIPULATIVES, THEN RETURNS TO COMPUTER, ABJECT AND SHOCKINGLY UNDERDEVELOPED, PITIFULLY DRAWN TO SIMPLE FOMENTING OF THIS UNNERVING BRAND OF EGOTISM OTHERWISE KNOWN AS “BLOG” TO THE POCKMARKED AND BLOATED DIGI WORLD. SUBJECT LAUGHS SATISFIED AT HIMSELF AND SLOWLY DROOLS ONTO HIS TSHIRT)
10) Bands. What bands are you currently playing in? What is in the future as far as shows, tours, recording, etc. What were your favorite past bands to play in?
I play in Paralyzer (aka MATT REED vrs THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD): hardcore straight edge maniacs bent on spreading Matt Reed’s shade of colorful communism to Cincinnati and “destroying America one poorly attended hardcore show at a time” (according to HYPERLINK "http://www.paralyzer.net" www.paralyzer.net webmaster Mr.???) Im technically contracted to play guitar in Black Dove…crushing NECROKANG whatever the hell that means, Overseer sXe hardcore stalwarts, ex-still crossed plus your humble self…hell bent on making 98-2001 hardcore palatable again playing drums…ummm I will be recording drums and guitar for a long time “project”
(SUBJECT SNEERS AT HIMSELF AND THE UGLINESS OF THIS TERM, DROOL MAKES ITS WAY TO SWEATPANTS IN AN INERT POOL)
…with Zach Colina called The Intolerable Weight that has a very long story of its own, but it will years in the making and hopefully superb. Me and Dane are cooking something up, its simmering on the range somewhere back there. Lots of bands, always. It keeps the blood thin and me crazed. If I don’t do this I will fall over and cough rust. Ironically between all these bands I hardly do anything but practice, haha. Whatever. Paralzyer is putting out an one sided lp in a few months and writing new songs, Black Dove just put out a record on Solar Funeral that I didn’t play on unfortunately, but we hardly do anything, but we have 4 new songs and intermittent shows sometimes in the hundred miles between here and Columbus. Overseer should have a demo soonish and be playing a show or two by the end of the winter is my guess, and Captives (me and dane) will be doing something (non-funny) eventually. The Intolerable Weight recording will fulfill me hopefully for a long time to come and I can sit and listen to it and feel like all this money and energy sometimes pays off. Don’t like to think about the past bands too much because it conjures up much regret…Tumor Feast, Look Alive, Goat Semen Baptism and all the fun bands between have been great times. See The Damage with Nick and Joe was great, Hacked Off was fucking spectacular looking back on it. I feel so lucky to have been in all these bands and had so much fun and so mnay privileges to play music to audiences, even if it was just us in the practice space, dicking off…that’s when the best things happened, when the those beautiful nights felt endless, and reckless, and untargeted, and are now pretty unforgettable…(GSB, HACKED OFF, TF, File and Claw (miss you Damon), On Deadly Ground/Nonperson, SEVERE) so fucking fun. Some of the most fun 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 idiots can have.
11) How was your experience with Monster Energy drinks. Why do you think this country has so many different kinds of energy drinks and what is the obsession?
Oh god. I don’t even want to touch the conundrum of energy drinks and supplements and the infinite sadness that it so blaringly evinces of this society. I drink a bunch of coffee, same shit. Monster tastes pretty good I think, but really I drank it because everyone else was and me and Brandon laughed about it so much that I kept it up until my bought with the BIG FUCKING CAN from monster. Hilarious story but not you had to be there. I don’t get energy from drinks ever. I get energy from reading random lines of Bukowski and Sun Magazine, or seeing Henry Rollins talk. Anyway not to be dramatic
(SUBJECT IS CONFUSED AT THIS POINT FOR INDECERINABLE REASON, SCRATCHES AS IF THERE IS LICE ON ALL OF HIS BODY, DROOL SHIFTS ONTO DRAB CARPET)
but I think it’s a pretty good display of the harrowing condition of the American populace, and our benign sense of critical thinking and analysis of what we spend our money on. It’s a fucking farce, and its obviousness is absolutely killing to me. We are overworked and forlorn, we are beat up by drugs and beer and mortages, and working two jobs, and all that, and now we have the primal solution to stay awake for to endure even steeper schedules, steeper banalities, fuck it. It’s a waste. Go to sleep. Don’t dream. Just forget for awhile. You know. I forget the question.
12) Outro. Any last words? Shout outs? Endorsements?
Don’t you think ive said enough…
Thanks for thinking of me. You always have and always seem to. Cool you have a blog, don’t fall in. hope my thoughts about things are composed well enough to derive some sense from them, maybe even impose some thought and evaluation. Check out Southpaw Prints downtown on Main Street in Cincinnati for screen-printing and all that (off center of not)…keep tuned to Order 66…never forget Tumor Feast and all the fun it was…um YES WE DID YES WE DID YES WE DID. Listen to Catharsis. Get a library card. Own your space in the hardcore scene, individualize it, maintain it, respect it. Blah blah. Don’t get fuck you tattooed on your body, EVER, ANYWHERE, but say fuck you a lot, or fuck anyway. Check out the aforementioned bands of mine please. Disregard most of what you just read. I cant believe you made it this far anyway. Wanna be my fake digital friend…canwecallthislife@yahoo.com? oh yeah I want to thank my Gibson endorsement…Thanks guys, you rock! THAI EXPRESS still best takeout in Cincinnati, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh…
“when I think about it all its almost too much to bear, its hell and it opens your eyes…when I think about it all its almost too much to bear, its heaven, and it opens your eyes”
MLIW
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